You want me to be your mom
Just like Harry and Dickey and Tom
You say that you love me but you want more of me
You want me to be your mom

Something about this is wierd
Reality's worse than I feared
It all would be fine if you were say, nine
But I see that you have a beard

This relationship's destined to fail
My interest in you has gone stale
What I had in mind and can't seem to find
A full-grown American male

Someone to pick up your room
to handle a mop and a broom
to open her purse, your personal nurse
Whenever you fall down, go boom

Your favorite meals she'll prepare
Then serve it up in your high chair
She'll rub your dub'dubby, she'll scrub out your tubby
And skidmarks from your underwear

She wanted a love that would last
She wanted a man with some class
Instead she's got one who's more work than fun
Who still needs his mom wiping his nose

I wouldn't do this for my health
Put your plan back on the shelf
If I wanted a son, I would've raised one
Instead I'll take care of myself!

I've a question to finish this song
What in your childhood went wrong?
I don't mean to test you, but what possessed you
to crawl into bed with your mom?

end:
I am a lover, I'm nobody's mother
I don't want to be your mom
Its time to grow up now, I think I'll throw up now
I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR MOM!

©1999 Victoria Parks